ADHD...Curse or Gift?
“You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.”
~ Jonathan Davis
I LOVE this quote. I LIVE this quote. It is the middle of the winter...snowy and bleak. I have time, lots of time, to take stock of the things in my life for which I am thankful...things I would like to change. Among other gifts, I am thankful for the gift of ADHD. Yes…gift.
I grew up in a time when ADHD was an unknown, when the only people on Ritalin were “hyperactive” boys. Those hyperactive boys were often viewed as being out of control, lazy, or bad. Their “problem” was never thought to be an attention deficiency, and was often concealed. I was a child with ADHD, and now I am an adult with ADHD. Oh how I would have loved to have had the benefit of a diagnosis, and the opportunity to overcome, many years ago, the challenges I faced on a daily basis.
As much as I wish things might have been easier for me as I was growing up, I realize that there are unique abilities and gifts that come along with my ADHD. I am charismatic, highly intelligent, imaginative and witty. I am a problem solver who is curious and quick to catch on. I am creative, innovative and resourceful, in general, and, when I need to find solutions. I am very intuitive, with a great understanding of people and character. I am passionate about things that interest me, and willing to take risks to reach my goals. Most importantly, I am resilient, not only surviving what life has dealt me, but emerging stronger and wiser. I possess all these admirable qualities that are required for success, both personally and professionally. And…I have ADHD.
Another gift that has been bestowed upon me is the ability to see things in a way that others do not. I am a non-conformist who often thinks outside the box. Because I take the road less traveled, I am forcing myself to remain true to who I really am. I am authentic. I clearly hear my inner thoughts and truly understand what I really want. I have been able to discover my hidden strengths and talents, and use these insights to change myself for the better. Imaging that! And…I have ADHD.
That being said, is the idea of ADHD being a gift really so wonderful, or is it merely a consolation prize to make up for the curse of ADHD? Can it be compared to rain on your wedding day…supposedly good luck, but in reality, platitudes meant to assuage the soggy bride and groom’s disappointment? Yes, the person with an ADHD brain does possess gifts and strengths, but because they do not know how to best access or use their unique talents in a non-ADHD world, those gifts don’t necessarily negate the annoyances often caused by ADHD. These include, but aren't limited to, inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity, lack of organization, forgetfulness, lack of follow-through, difficulty with time management, and intense feelings of overwhelm. The advantages of ADHD can often be overshadowed by the challenges that accompany ADHD, and, as a result, people with ADHD often struggle with career, relationships, and finances. Tasks which seem simple and ordinary to the rest of the world can feel like climbing Mount Everest to someone living with ADHD.
The trick is to turn the negative aspects of ADHD into something positive. As I get older, I have learned that it is better to accept the fact that you can’t control every detail in your life, rather than try to control it all. Despite living in a culture that applauds control, and admonishes those who cannot achieve it, I have come to realize that I have limits. We ALL have limits. I make mistakes. We ALL make mistakes. Once we have learned to accept our limitations, we are then able to focus on our abilities. ADHD has a way of forcing us to face our challenges. By facing those pesky annoyances that arise on a daily basis, those with ADHD are better able recognize and understand their strengths, which enables them to pursue their passions. Once your ADHD challenges are transformed into positive behaviors, your best life can be fully realized and your inner stars will shine. Not everybody is a perfect fit for the world in which we live. For instance, we live in a society that was created, by, and for, right-handed people Even so, a left-handed pitcher can be a huge asset when it comes to pitching to right-handed batters. Like the southpaw, I have learned to define myself by my gifts rather than my liabilities, and have chosen a profession that builds upon MY unique strengths and talents. I may not excel at traditional professions, but I am a really good coach! I have chosen to look beyond a world created for people without ADHD, and have turned my strengths into skills which set me apart from the majority.
ADHD IS a gift. Many of the great contributions made to this world are from people with an ADHD brain. These distinguished men and women include Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, Picasso, Mark Twain, Emily Dickenson, Henry Ford, Michael Phelps, Jack Nicholson, Ann Bancroft, and Elvis Presley. I can’t imagine a world without the fairytales written by Hans Christian Anderson. How dull would childhood be without the imagination of Walt Disney? Classic literature would be incomplete without the novels written by Charlotte and Emily Bronte? Where would music be without Mozart? The list goes on.
Each day is a clean slate, and I have to choose whether to define myself by my strengths or by my weaknesses. To that end, I do not view having ADHD as a disability, but rather as a world of possibility. I choose to focus on the positive, which enables me to find ways to overcome my challenges. Our society has become more diverse, and if we are to embrace all types of people, it cannot stop at race, ethnicity or religion. We must learn to embrace the inner differences as well. The chaos of an ADHD mind has produced some amazing and beautiful things, and, truth be told, I would rather be magical living in a Muggle world, than a Muggle living in a magical world.